What is attachment styles?
What Is Attachment?
In therapy we often explore our attachment style, this is developed in early years with our primary caregiver. It is not something that is fixed and with time and effort it can be developed and understood.
Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure. The roots of research on attachment began with Freud's theories about love, but another researcher is usually credited as the father of attachment theory.
John Bowlby devoted extensive research to the concept of attachment, describing it as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings."1 Bowlby shared the psychoanalytic view that early experiences in childhood are important for influencing development and behavior later in life.
Our early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship. In addition to this, Bowlby believed that attachment had an evolutionary component; it aids in survival. "The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals [is] a basic component of human nature," he explained.
Secure Attachment Characteristics
Children who are securely attached generally become visibly upset when their caregivers leave and are happy when their parents return. When frightened, these children will seek comfort from the parent or caregiver.
Contact initiated by a parent is readily accepted by securely attached children and they greet the return of a parent with positive behavior. While these children can be comforted to some extent by other people in the absence of a parent or caregiver, they clearly prefer parents to strangers.
Parents of securely attached children tend to play more with their children. Additionally, these parents react more quickly to their children's needs and are generally more responsive to their children than the parents of insecurely attached children.
Studies have shown that securely attached children are more empathetic during later stages of childhood.5
These children are also described as less disruptive, less aggressive, and more mature than children with ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles.
As Children
Separates from parent
Seeks comfort from parents when frightened
Greets return of parents with positive emotions
Prefers parents to strangers
As Adults
Have trusting, lasting relationships
Tend to have good self-esteem
Share feelings with partners and friends
Seek out social support
Wording By Kendra Cherry
Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.
Further reading at https://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-styles-2795344